Detaching With Care

Many have a warped view on detachment. It is not about setting aside your care; it's about recognizing three things: you are a vessel for your emotions, you are not in control, and the importance of discernment. I'm making this post because I want to help people obtain the peacefulness that comes from detaching with care.

First, you must understand that your conscious mind, "I," is separate from your thoughts, dreams, and emotions, which are your unconscious mind. Many creative people, such as Michael Jackson, William Blake, and Elizabeth Gilbert, have said that ideas come to them, insinuating that they do not "come up" with ideas themselves. Think of yourself as a vessel. Your unconscious mind is constantly taking in your experiences/memories, and from it, images, thoughts, and emotions arise. Then, your conscious mind, "I," becomes aware of what has surfaced.

You did not consciously choose to feel the emotions you feel; they simply appear. Now, how you (the conscious mind) choose to react is all you can control. But how are you meant to control the emotions that are surfacing in the conscious mind? You allow them to exist; you remind yourself that you are not your emotions and that they will pass. Which leads me to my next point.

Admitting no control actually makes you in control. If you give everything to what you do, then you have no reason to punish yourself for an outcome that is out of your control. You can only be the best you that you can be, and then what happens, happens. So, you should come at situations with the confidence that you will be okay if something falls apart. Any negative thoughts about yourself are not real, but your brain does not know the difference; you must remind it.

Now, because the brain is so gullible, you can actually use that to your advantage. This is when having no control gives you all the control because the truth is, there's no such thing as "no control." You control the ability to pay attention to your unconscious mind and take action. Imagine if Shakespeare never wrote down an idea because he let himself believe that he didn't have the talent for it. Unfortunately, it happens every day because people allow negative thoughts to become their reality. If a genius idea doesn't become reality until its vessel does something about it, then can't the same be said about self-doubt?

Instead of letting a negative thought control you, let discernment distinguish whether or not it's true. You can feel fear, sadness, and anger without letting it decide what you do. You use discernment every day, when you decide to not cross the road after seeing that cars are coming or when you throw out expired food because it could hurt you, even if you really want to eat it. That is discernment, the ability to understand what you are feeling or doing and determine what to do next.

Discernment is so important because empathy without it is no longer empathy; it's self-punishment. It's also not about ignoring the feeling; it's about understanding it. Sometimes the feeling is trying to tell you something, and other times it is just something you need to move forward from. The more you apply discernment in your life, the easier it becomes to tell the difference. You can care about something deeply without letting your emotions make a decision for you. That is what detachment with care is about: feeling your emotions but not allowing them to punish you.

What Women Need

I believe women have a higher purpose, higher than we know. That's why we require so much before we can be at peace because before we reach our purpose we need to first lay in the water of the mother, run through the sand of the daughter and call upon the divine feminine to curse the father. Now, you're probably confused and I cannot lie I can only try to explain it clearly.

I spend alot of time thinking about Virginia Woolf , who wrote, "A woman must have money and room of her own if she is to write fiction" and although there isn't much that stands taller then women who write fiction, I have to wonder what else women need. We differ from men in a strong, primal, yet still soft way. It's one thing to bask in nature, but to connect with it, to be nature is something men cannot fathom. When we swim in the ocean, creek, or lake we heal not only our own souls but also the soul of the universe because in order for anything to heal us we must be able to share it back or else we feel selfish. When in the water, the effortlessness to exist calms us, the way we float while being hugged by the tide imitates our mothers' wombs which creates a love that is taken to all areas of the earth. The waves spit us out at the shore where the daughter meets the mother.

Stepping out of the water, the sand greets us and although she can be tough, annoying, and hot to the touch, she also tears off our dead skin to make room for a new soft layer. As all daughters are, she can be a little tricky but it is nature's law for them to be this way, because without friction how can anything evolve? The daughter doesn't receive as much as she gives, like the mother does, but she does enjoy the women who sprint across her, their hair flowing with the wind and their laughter bouncing off the water. 

Women are by nature free spirits and when men see that they often feel envious because they know that level of peace is godly and instead of loving us because of it, most attempt to shelter us from the truth that we are magical. However, the universe is known for its balance, the mother and the daughter together are the divine feminine. So when we call upon her to curse the father we call the friction of the daughter and with it the selflessness of our love from the mother. When women live through and as the divine feminine I believe it protects us from the father and anything he has put in place to destroy us. Unfortunately, I also believe the father has been successful in preventing us from accessing our magic but what gives me hope is that every day, more and more women are waking up to discover that we are complex and sensitive, but oh, so powerful.

The world isn't stable

I’m very resistant to how life is constantly changing.

The way one moment can be bitter, harsh, and raging,

then suddenly reminds you that it is something precious,

as if it were never meant to feel so reckless.